


Turning Out

by Samandriel1998



Category: AJR (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samandriel1998/pseuds/Samandriel1998
Summary: Do you wanna be there to see how I turn out?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Turning Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third fanfaction, I am a little nervous lol.  
> Also, I transleted it by myself so there could be mistakes (:

***

Ryan was the first to notice it. Jack was always quite careless in matters of his own health, so his elder brothers learned to notice the slightest changes in the behavior and well-being of the younger Metzger.

And this time, Ryan began to suspect something was wrong. Always energetic and cheerful Jack started quickly get tired, he got terrible headaches, became pale and haggard. Ry decided do not say anything , attributing it to hard work, but his patience ran out when Jack’s cuts and scratches stoped healing . Jack could get scratched on the drum kit during the show and the wound did not heal for a long time. A very long time.

After all, Ryan made up his mind. After the next show, he began to look for Jack. He found his brother sitting on the floor near the door of their dressing room, trying to catch his breath and looked terribly exhausted.

Ry sit beside him and handed his brother a bottle of water. Jack gratefully took it and drained it in one gulp for more than half. For a couple of minutes they just sat in silence until Ryan gathered his courage and began a conversation:

“How do you feel, Jack?”

“Not bad, just tired,” Jack hugged his knees and laid his chin on them.

“You don't just look tired, you look exhausted,” Ryan tried to speak as softly as possible, but anxiety was still palpable in his voice.

“I'm fine, Ry, we just didn’t take a break for a long time, I need a day off and everything will be fine,” Jack looked at the wall in front of them, avoiding his brother’s searching gaze.

“Jack, I know you, and I see that this is not just fatigue. You need a doctor, something has been happening to you for quite some time now” –Jack’s stubbornness began to annoy Ryan, but he tried to stay calm. A fight will not help now.

Jack looked at his brother.

“What are you talking about?”

“You have headaches, you get tired faster, barely eat and sleep more than usual,” Ryan looked Jack in the eyes, “Please, Jack, it will make me feel better. Let the doctor examine you, and that’s it.”

“There’s no time between shows,” Jack sighed.

“We will take the day off,”

“Ry…”

“Jack, we’ll do it and that’s all. Just one day. Please?”

“I hate hospitals,” Jack looked like a child who got vegetables instead of candies. It looked so funny that Ryan chuckled.

“If you agree, I'll buy you a chocolate cake,” Ryan patted Jack on the head, as he had done in their childhood.

Jack gave Ryan an angry look.

“Bite me!”

They both laughed, and Ryan felt the burden falling from his shoulders. They will find out everything soon. Soon everything will work out. Soon everything will be fine. At least it should have been.

***

When they heard this, they could not believe their ears.

Jack sat quietly and as if he had not heard a word, but emotions of his brothers were definitely more than enough. Adam stared at the oncologist in shock, Ryan cried, not even trying to hide it.

Leukemia.

When they arrived at the hospital, a pretty nice nurse took them to the doctor. He asked a couple of questions, ordered a blood test and told them to come back in a couple of days for the results.

When they returned, they were told about the need for several more tests. It seemed suspicious to them, but doctors refused to answer any questions, so they agreed.

And, they returned for the third time.

Nurse took them to the doctor’s office. Doctor was friendly, but the word oncologist next to her name on her badge…Metzgers didn’t like it at all.

Then they found out.

For two hours, they discussed treatment, chemotherapy drugs, their side effects. Well, Adam was mainly involved in the conversation, since Jack still hadn't gotten out of prostration, and Ryan tried (unsuccessfully) to wedge himself into the conversation, heroically fighting with his emotions.

On the way home, usually quiet Adam kept trying to start a conversation, trying to somehow get rid of the ringing silence, and Ryan even kept up the conversation, but this didn’t help, and all their attempts failed.

When they returned at the apartment, Jack grabbed their dog’s leash and called for her.

" I'll go for a walk with Shey,"Without waiting for an answer, Jack literally ran out of the door.

Adam sighed, took off his shoes, took off his jacket and sat on the sofa, grabbing his notebook.

He need to re-read his notes .Oncologist explained treatment options. Perhaps tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, Jack will also be ready to discuss this, but for now he clearly needs to think. Such information …It takes time to fully realize ... What happened.

Adam angrily ran a hand through his hair. He need to concentrate, he can’t give in to emotions. Now he is the one whom his brothers are rely on, and he will not let them down. He has no right to fail.

He had already begun to read when he suddenly heard the sound of breaking dishes. Again. And again.

Jumping up, he looked around and saw Ryan getting ready to destroy another plate. Adam grabbed his hand, took the dishes away and set it on the table.

Then his brother looked at him with a look that Adam had never seen. It seemed that despair completely flooded Ry’s consciousness, without leaving a place for anything else.

“Why did this happen?”

Adam had goosebumps from Ryan’s cracked voice .

“Did we do something bad? Have we been punished for something?”

Instead of answering, Adam simply pressed Ryan against him, letting his brother’s head rest on his shoulder.

***

Jack walked, almost not seeing anything in front of him, bypassing passers-by, pulling Shey away from those whom she intended to lick in the face.

Having reached a small square, he sat down on a bench and released dog from the leash. She immediately ran away to see the nearest bushes.

Meanwhile, a storm of thoughts raged in his head, there were so many of them that it was not possible to choose one.

He tried to think about why this happened to him. Did he do something wrong? Yes, he wasn’t a saint, but ... He always tried to do the right things, did charity work with Adam and Ryan, tried to help if he was asked for something ... So why?

Then he thought about how he would tell his parents. Just thinking about it almost made him scream. Gosh, how can he pick words to talk about this with mom and dad? He was cowardly thinking about leaving it to his brothers, but immediately refused it. Adam and Ryan have suffered enough today. He should talk to their parents himself.

Then he thought about Alba. Jack sighed and covered his face with his hands. Oh, Alba, Alba ... Just a few days ago he started looking for a wedding ring for her. Wonderful engagement gift was obtained, obviously.

He felt soft poke at his knee. Jack looked down and saw Shay, holding a stick with an absolutely happy expression. Suppressing the irrational envy to his own dog (funny, he envies to an animal), Jack threw the stick. Shay rushed after it .

Jack ran a hand through his hair. All of this does not make sense. He must create, he must write music with his brothers, travel with them, meet fans, marry Alba, have a family, children, and die from a heart attack at 100 years old.

Metzger felt something warm on his right thigh again.

It was Shay, she laid her head on his thigh and, without any twinge of conscience, drooling at his new jeans, looking at him with big sad eyes. Apparently, she felt that something was wrong.

Jack patted her head.

“Everything will be fine. We can handle it,”

Shay whimpered softly and wagged her tail weakly.

“Well, let's go, let's go home,” Jack ran the back of his hand across his cheek, wiping away his tears. “Come on, Adam and Ry have been waiting for us.”

And they headed back. Passers-by looked at a strange guy with a dog who just walked along the street and sobbed, but you can see weird people on the streets of this strange city, right?

***

The sound of a key in the lock tore Adam from his thoughts. He flinched in surprise, but pretended to be busy with his studies.

“Here we are, girl,” Adam heard Jack talking to Shey, and grinned again at this sweet habit. – “Wait, I'll wash you.”

Jack took off his shoes and jacket and carried Shay into the bathroom. Soon there came the sound of water, Jack’s indignant exclamations, when Shay splatter water all over him.

After a couple of minutes, their dog ran out of the bathroom and lied down on the carpet, grabbing one of Jack's slippers (she decided to have a snack after a walk, obviously).

Jack left the bathroom and suddenly stoped.

“Where is Ry?”

That is true. Usually you can always say is Ryan there or not - their brother does not like silence and always sings, plays his ukulele, turns on the music or TV so they create background noise. But now they could literally taste the silence.

“He wanted to take a walk,” Adam shrugged.

Jack looked at the garbage can full of shards of broken dishes. He frowned and glanced at Adam.

“He shouldn’t be alone,”

“He insisted. And he promised to return soon,”

“Alright,” Jack sighed and sat down on the sofa next to Adam.

A few minutes passed in awkward silence.

“How are you?” Suddenly asked Jack.

Adam choked on his tea and looked at his brother in amazement. How is he? How is HE? Well, only Jack could ask him about his condition when he…Has this diagnosis. Adam wanted to be mad at Jack, tell him to take care of himself at least once in his life ... But there was so much pure concern in his brother's eyes that Adam did not have the heart to say it . Instead of this, he answered:

“I'm fine. Better tell me how do you feel,”

Jack blinked and stared at Adam in confusion.

When he and Ryan write music, he has no problem in expressing feelings and emotions. They always knew how to put their fears, hopes, joys and sorrows into words and notes. But now ... How to explain Adam what he feels?

How to tell him that he feels ... deceived, lost? That he simply does not know what to do, what to feel? That he is lonely, bewildered? That he hope that this is one big nightmare?

Jack opens his mouth to start, but he could not find the right words. Finally, when he was about to start talking about all the thoughts that now raging in his head, only five words left his mouth:

“I wanted to propose Alba,”

And that's enough. Adam hugs Jack.

“You will definitely do it, Jack,”

Adam hugged his brother, soothingly stroking his back and shoulders, and thought that he would do absolutely anything for Jack’s recover. No matter how, no matter how much the treatment or medication will cost, he will do everything for this guy.

Whatever happens.

***

Ryan didn't even notice how he get in some small yard.

A quiet, ordinary yard, like thousands in New York. And,fortunately , completely empty. Exactly what he needed right now.

Ry sat on a swing.

Emotions still raged inside like a tornado, but now at least he can think clearly. Basically his thoughts revolved around one thing - he is to blame for everything.

He didn’t see, didn’t feel that something was wrong with Jack. Damn it, he should have reacted earlier. Ryan was always managed to find the right words to convince Jack, his brother could listen to him, if Ryan tried to do something.

Why didn’t he say anything this time? Fool, idiot!

And he calling himself an elder brother.

Ryan abruptly got up and began to pace nervously.

He can’t fix anything now, his brother is sick. But damn it, Ryan has no right to give up. Jack needs him. His younger brother, whom he taught to read, play ukulele, how to talk to girls.

Metzger stopped pacing around the bench and headed to the exit from the yard. Anger, fear for his brother almost blinded him, almost didn’t let him to see the main thing, the only thing that is important right now -Jack is terrified. He is scared more than ever. And he needs his family.

So Ryan hurried back to their apartment.

When Ry came home, he locked the door and began to take off his shoes, but he suddenly saw movement in the corner of his eye. He looked up and saw that Adam put a finger to his lips and pointed at Jack sleeping at his shoulder.

Ryan nodded and came closer as quietly as possible. Adam smiled encouragingly, and Ryan smiled back at him.

“How is he?” asked Ry.

“Despite the circumstances, he is doing fine,”

“Did he say anything?”

“He said that he scared, he doesn’t know how to react at this and what to do. But I reassured him, convinced him that this is normal ... In this situation. I told him that we will do everything to help him.”

“Forgive me,” Ryan suddenly felt ashamed. “I should have been here,”

“Ryan, everything's fine,” Adam seemed to be surprised that Ry decided to start apologizing. “Don't be silly. You needed to calm down a bit, that's all. The main thing is that we are all here now.”

Ryan nodded.

“Yes, you’re probably right ... How are you?” Ryan looked at his brother inquiringly.

“I ... I'm scared,” admitted Adam. “For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to expect, what to do. This is all ... it was very unexpected. Although, such things always come unexpectedly, right? ”Adam grunted sadly.

And then Ryan saw that Adam was scared, he was scared as much as all of them.

“Adam,” Ry encouragingly squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “We can handle this. Yes, we have not experienced anything like this, but we can handle it.”

Adam sighed and looked at Ryan.

“I really hope you're right.”

“Me too”

They sat like this for a while, just silently enjoying each other's presence.

***

Jack woke up a couple hours later. When he opened his eyes, he realized that he literally lies on Adam. And besides, he hugged his brother’s right arm like a toy. Wonderful. Jack blushed and sat up straight.

“Oh, you woke up,” Adam turned his head to Jack, put down the book and began to rub his numb shoulder.

“How long have I been asleep?” Jack was still a little ashamed that he used his elder brother as a pillow.

“Maybe two hours,”

“You should have woke me up,”

“No, you needed to rest. Although my hand probably will have to be amputated, I'm glad that you had sleep you needed,”

Jack grunted.

“I hope your hand can be saved,”

Adam snorted and patted Jack's hair.

“Did Ry come back?”

“Yes. He was sleeping on my other shoulder. And then he went to his room,”

“Adam Pillow Metzger,”

“Shut up,”

“Okay, okay,” Jack smiled. “I'll go check on Ry,”

Adam nodded, and Jack went to Ryan's room. Ry worked on something in his favorite headphones.

Jack decided to draw his attention. He come closer and gently poked Ryan in the shoulder. Ry flinched, took off his headphones and looked at his brother.

“Hey, Ry,”

“Hey, Jack. How are you?”

“Better. And you?”

“Me too,” Ryan lowered his eyes. “I'm ... I'm sorry that I ... left ...”

“Stop. That’s enough. You haven't done anything wrong,” Jack looked into his brother's eyes.“ You don’t need to apologize. ”

“I should have stayed.”

Jack rolled his eyes.

“You were gone for less than an hour ,Ry. Nothing would have happened to me during this time,”

“I know. But..,”

But Ryan did not finish, because Jack suddenly squeezed him in a hug. Ry caught his breath and just stood there, letting his brother embrace him.

“It's alright, Ryan. I'm fine,”

Ryan blinked. Did he misread something or was this wonder trying to comfort him? Hmm, they definitely don't deserve Jack.

Then Jack let him go and Ry saw that his brother suddenly turned pale.

“Jack?”

“I didn’t tell mom and dad.I did not call them.”

“If you want, Adam and I can do this,” Ryan put a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“No, and don’t even think about it,” Jack frowned and looked at Ryan. “I'll do it by myself .I think it would be better if I tell everything. But..,” Jack stopped for a moment. “I have to tell everything personally,”

He ran out of the room and began to put on his jacket.

“Wait, wait!” Ryan rushed after him. “Can we go with you?”

Jack glanced at his brothers. He nodded. Adam and Ryan began to put their shoes and jackets as quickly as they could, and after a few minutes were on their way to their parents’ apartment.

***

Conversation with parents was long and hard. Worse than Jack expected .When everyone calmed down, they decided that next time they would go to the hospital all together, and during the treatment Jack also won't be alone. Despite all the emotions, after this conversation with mom and dad, Jack felt better.

But there was another person he must to talk to. Jack told his brothers that he was going to talk with Alba, and went to visit her.

Ryan and Adam stayed a little while with mom and dad. All the way back passed in silence, they didn’t want to interrupt each other’s thoughts. When they came to the apartment, Ryan decided to start a conversation.

“I think it didn't go that bad,”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Do you think Jack will be fine?” – After awkward silence, Ry finally asked the question that was in their minds throughout this evening.

“I think he will recover just to proof how cool he is.”

Ryan snorted

“I'm serious, Adam.”

Adam sighed.

“Jack has incredible will, you know. Remember how he argued with everyone when he was prescribed to stop performing until his fractured ankle heals. I thought he would just start killing anyone who dared to say that he must not perform. It is a miracle that everyone remained alive. Our brother performed despite pain. Do you remember amount of painkillers he took before every show that time? Jack has done this and will handle all of it now. We will help him,”

Adam come to Ryan and squeezed his brother’s shoulder encouragingly.

“Besides,” Adam continued, “We will begin treatment soon. We just need to wait for results,”

“Yes, you’re probably right, we shouldn’t overthink,”

“Exactly,”

Then something soft poked into Ryan's thigh.

“Shay wants to go outside,”

“Go. I'll make tea,”

“Alright,”

When Ryan returned, Adam's secret green tea was ready. They sat down and watched some show that was on TV. They both needed just sit in silence and calm down.

In half an hour later Jack returned

“Hey, are you alright? What Alba said? ” Brothers immediately approached Jack.

“At first she was in shock. She didn’t even cry, but I saw that she really wanted to.Then she said that she will do her best to help me. In general, she ... reacted normally,”

But something was definitely wrong.

“Jack, tell us what happened?” Adam carefully took Jack’s face in his palms and made Jack look into his eyes. Jack's eyes were full of tears.

“I ... when I walked down the street, I met fans. They were so glad to see me ... They asked for a photo and an autograph. And I realized ... That I can’t tell them. I mean the fans. I can’t tell them what is happening. But I don’t want to lie either, it’s terrible. I don’t know what to do with all of this, I just don’t know ..,”

Tears streamed down Jack's face. He tried to stop, but the more he tried to suppress sobs, the more tears appeared. Then he gave up to feelings and burst into tears.

Ryan and Adam put him on a sofa and covered him with a blanket. When the stream of tears dried up, and Jack calmed down a little, Adam brought a cup of tea. Jack gratefully accepted it and slowly began to drink hot liquid. Adam and Ry have been sitting nearby all this time, giving him silent support.

Tea warmed him, and soon Jack started to fall asleep.

Jack took a shower, changed clothes and went to bed. As soon as his head touched the pillow, he immediately fell asleep without dreams.

When he woke up the next morning, he saw that Ryan was sleeping with him, he curled up like a huge cat, and Adam fell asleep in the chair near to Jack's bed.

***

Months passed, life went on ,Jack’s treatment gave results. Blood tests were stable and, despite terrible nausea and weakness, Jack fought, and his whole family helped him. Parents and brothers stayed with him during chemo, reminded to take medicine and encouraged him. They did everything to cheer him up.

Alba and Jack cooked together, went to the cinemas, restaurants, parks and many other places. Alba did everything to keep Jack busy.

Brothers also continued to perform. Ryan and Adam tried to convince Jack to stop it, but he insisted that he simply could not live without it for a long time. And at first everything was great.

Jack jumped on stage like something possessed him, filling the venue with his energy. It seemed like disease gave him inspiration, this had never happened before. Even their manager could not understand how Jack can have so much passion. But Ryan and Adam had feeling that this would not last long, their brother would simply burn out. And it happened.

Jack began to weaken slowly. Shows began to take more and more energy from him. But Jack stubbornly refused to cancel or reschedule anything, bringing himself to the point of exhaustion. It was his way to not thinking about what was going on in his body, that disease was slowly killing him. Yes, his blood tests were not that bad, chemo was holding back cancer ... But he felt that it was not for long. On an intuitive level, the farthest piece of the subconscious, he foresaw that something would happen. It’s like when you foresee a thunderstorm on a sunny day, there seems to be no clouds in the sky, but the tension and smell of ozone portend a storm.

Ry and Adam tried not to put pressure on him, but their patience was over after one show. When they had just performed, they went backstage. Jack crouched in a chair in the corner and fell asleep. His brothers did not even notice this, discussing the show, and when they turned their heads to him to ask his opinion, they saw that Jack is sleeping.

They literally could not wake him, and Adam had to give Jack a slap in the face so that he finally woke up.

Jack looked at the brothers with a blank stare. Adam and Ryan were both frightened and annoyed, and Jack realized that now he could not escape it. He was immediately taken to the hospital.

They had to wait a bit, but the doctor came pretty soon. She examined Jack, took his blood for test, told them go for several necessary procedures and told them to come tomorrow for the results.

Returning home, they chose not to discuss what happened. Jack silently went to bed, but Adam and Ryan could not sleep and sat all night on the couch, side by side, without speaking, but perfectly understanding each other's thoughts.

In the morning they returned to the hospital. In the morning they found out that Jack was dying.

***

Jack was getting worse. Doctor advised him to stay in the hospital, where he was offered a new experimental treatment. But it did not give any results, Jack's blood tests continued to become worse.

But, despite his weakness, Jack asked Ryan to bring a laptop every day, every day he tried to create something new, trying to do as much as possible. He and his brothers knew that he don’t have much time.

However, they were not ready for one thing. To unbelievable amount of letters, messages, tweets, gifts from fans. On all their accounts, notifications was crushed because of fans’ love and support.

It helped them get distracted. It helped to forget at least for a while about what was happening. But only for a while.

That evening, everything went as usual. Ryan and Adam came to the hospital. As soon as they came Jack pulled out a small envelope from under the pillow.

Adam and Ry patiently waited for him. Finally, after a couple of minutes of silence, Jack started talking.

“I want you to do something for me. I ... wrote something here, and I would like you to post it. After ... well, you know,” Jack lowered his eyes.

“And ... what is this? “Ryan said carefully. “I ... just want to clarify, because if it's a song or something like that, we could work it out together,”

“No, it is not a song. And no, this is not a testament, except for mom, dad, you and Alba I do not have anyone to leave anything, so it would be pointless.”

“Well, Jack, we get it,” Adam took the envelope from his brother’s hands. “We will post it, whatever it is,”

“Thank you. Just don't show it to anyone. Even to mom and dad. And do not read it yet, it is not the time”

“We'll hide it, no one will find it, I promise, you don’t have to worry,” Ryan patted Jack’s shoulder. Jack cheered a little and even smiled, which had not happened for several days.

“No, better let Adam took it, otherwise you’ll forget where you hide it and then won’t be able to find,”

Ryan was feignedly offended, but still rejoicing that Jack had a little fun.

“When did that happen before?”

“I still remember how you constantly hid gifts, but could not find them,”

“Yes, I remember that too,” Adam decided to add fuel to the fire. “When Jack was nine, I asked you to hide gifts so this little curious disaster would not find them ...”

“I'm here and I can hear you!” Jack gave Adam a resentful look.

“… And,” Adam continued as if nothing had happened. “He was left without them, because you could not find gifts,”

“It happened once!”

“Two years ago, at Christmas, you couldn’t remember where our gifts were, Ry, so just admit - it’s better to let Adam take care of it,” Jack could not help but giggle, looking at Ryan’s frustrated face.

“Alright, if say so ...” he muttered, frowning.

Jack smiled and gave Ry a hug as an apology. Ryan hugged his brother back, letting his head rest on Jack's shoulder. Previously, Jack smelled like his favorite mint soap, but now it was the smell of a hospital and medicine.

Jack pulled away, still smiling, and gaily glanced at his brothers.

“So, did you bring something new today? My head is literally buzzing, there are too many ideas in it, so let's hurry up, ” Jack poked Ryan on the shoulder and reached for the laptop.

A few minutes later the three of them were engrossed by music, not even knowing that they would need Jack's mysterious envelope really soon.

***

It happened two weeks later.

They rushed to the hospital after a night call. They did not remember how they literally flew along the corridor.

But it was late.

Adam and Ryan listened to the doctor, who talked about how everything happened. About how Jack became worse literally twenty minutes after they left. About how his heart stopped three times in twenty minutes.

And all they thought about was how they let their little brother go through all of it alone. How could they do this to Jack, the one who brought joy and light in their lives.

Later, when the doctor went for some documents, and Ryan and Adam sat down on the bench, Adam suddenly felt something in his pocket. He put his hand in it and pulls out thing he had already forgotten about.

Ryan raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw Jack’s envelope in his brother’s hands.

“Have you carried it with you all this time?”

“I wanted to put it in a drawer, but I forgot. I’m glad that it wasn’t lost,” Adam shrugged. “Do you want to read it?”

“No,” Ryan swallowed nervously. “Not now.”

Adam breathed a sigh of relief.

“I was afraid you might want to read.”

“I don't think I can ever open it,” Ryan covered his face with his hands and sobbed.

Adam laid his head on his brother’s shoulder and, hugging him, began to soothingly pat on his back, trying to stop his own tears.

Only a week after the funeral they decided that they were ready. Adam took a letter from a drawer and looked at Ryan. Ry came closer to his brother and took the envelope on the opposite side. And, together, they opened it.

Inside the envelope was a paper covered with their little brother’s neat handwriting. Ryan started reading aloud.

“If you are reading this, then everything turned out not very well. I am sure you know what happened to me and my family.

But it doesn't matter, because now I want to talk about something else. Now I want to talk about life. About the role you all played in it.

I want to talk about how grateful I am to all of you for staying around all these years. For making me laugh when I was sad, for making me move forward.

Thanks to you, my brothers and I have become what we are now. You have done so much for us, you gave us everything that we have.

You inspiring us, you never stop to amaze us with magnitude of your talent, kindness, and mind. And one thing I regret, really regret, that I cannot hug all of you.

Thanks to you, my life was complete, you made it like that.

But there is one thing I want to ask you- keep doing this for Ryan and Adam. Make them smile, that's all I ever wanted.

Thank you for everything.

With love, J,”

For some time, brothers just stood there and looked at this paper rectangle. A simple sheet of paper, there is thousands and thousands sheets like this. But somehow, it was able to fill their hearts with love again, as if Jack was still here and gave each of them his warm embrace.

***

Adam's birthday crept unnoticed, like a cat chasing a mouse.

Ryan and Adam took a long time deciding whether to celebrate or not. And they decided that they did not want to have a celebration without Jack.

But they simply could not stop continue one tradition.

So, now they sit on the floor and play lego, like many years ago. As when there were three of them.

“Ry, pass me the green one,” Adam straightened the hat. Damn, so hot, how Jack managed to constantly wear it...

“Here,” Ryan handed his brother a lego brick.

Then their mother entered the room.

“I thought that you might want a cocoa, so I made some for you,” Mrs. Metzger smiled radiantly. “Be careful, Ry, don’t spill it on shirt, it will be impossible to wash this stain out of the white fabric,”

“Alright, mom, come here, I'll take it,” Ryan went to his mother and carefully took the tray with three cups.

Mrs. Metzger smiled again and left the room.

Ryan put the tray on the floor and picked up one of the cups. Adam reached for the other, and placed the third next to a bunch of lego bricks lying near to Jack's photo.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry...


End file.
